But this whole internship debacle has put a few things into perspective for me.
Lesson #1: It's ok to be sad when something/someone let's you down. It's important to show some emotion every now and then and it's even more important to blow off that steam. Holding in a strong emotion is one of the worse things a person can do.
With that being said, it's not ok to mope around your apartment for a week because things didn't go your way. People make mistakes (though, sometimes their mistakes really impact other people's lives in a negative way), but we're all human and sometimes you just gotta let it go. It's out of your control... which brings me to Lesson #2.
Lesson #2: What's for you won't pass you by. Meaning, that if something is bound to happen to you, it will happen. You can't force it. I can be angry all I want, but obviously it wasn't in God's plan for me to work for that company this summer. I have to embrace that.
Sometimes you have to just throw your hands in the air and say "it's not up to me." My life has been so beautifully planned out already that it's ridiculous for me to question why this is happening. Maybe me not getting this job will ultimately lead me to a much better one? Or maybe this is just God's way of telling me I need to de-stress for the summer? Who knows! All I know is that it wasn't meant to be, and I'm at ease about it.
When I get sad and question why things in my life are going the way they are, it's sometimes hard to have faith and see the bigger picture of it all. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the most steady person when it comes to my faith. I get so frustrated when things go wrong (heck, sometimes even when they go right--I don't always think I'm so deserving) that it's hard to remember that it's all apart of a greater plan.
I was driving back home to Houston this afternoon and a song came on my iPod called "Hurricane" by Jimmy Needham. It is such a beautiful song and a part of it really hit home for me:
I am Yours and You are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction's what I need
Then I'll receive it Lord from Thee
Sometimes we all need a little bit of destruction to make us see things in a different light.