Wednesday, May 22, 2013

That One Time... Dragon Boy


Literally like 3 weeks before I met Graham, I met a guy on the bus on the way home from downtown. I was sober (because going to bars sober is like.. so fun) and was getting annoyed of all the drunkasses around me. Boy noticed me and we started chatting. He seemed nice enough and asked for my number. He told me he wanted to take me on a date Monday. I wrote it off as a drunk boy lookin to holla. 

Monday came and apparently Boy was serious about the date. I got kind of a weird vibe from our texts, but decided to go meet him for a drink anyways. Lemme be frank. I immediately judge a person based on what drink they order. He ordered Bailey's on the rocks. Just get a damn beer.. geez. Immediately, he starts talking about himself and how he's studying biology and wants to work in public health. "Like a doctor?," I ask. "NO." Ok... what's with the defensiveness? He then proceeds to tell me about how he feels as though it's his calling to educate kids about STD's and other diseases. Good for him. Kids need that.

Our conversation was ok. He's one of those that is overly interested in what I have to say, which is kind of a turn off because I knew he was faking it. Just be real. Pleaaaase (Graham, thanks for always being genuinely interested in our conversation. Love ya.) Also, he was an over-sharer. I learned on our first date that his dad has alcohol issues and his brother has serious anger problems and that's what led to his parents' divorce. He also joked about being obsessed with dragons, which I thought was kind of a weird thing to joke about, but ignored it.

After the drinks, I was ready to go home, but he insisted on taking a walk around the neighborhood. I honest to god thought it was the perfect time/place for him to murder me. I even texted my roommate to tell her where I was in case if anything happened. To give him credit, it wasn't totally his fault. It was just dark and we were close to a park. Anyways, the conversation got easier; I think the alcohol helped the both of us. When we reached his street, he asked me to come in for a beer and we could hang out on his porch. I obliged.

Rookie mistake.

The second I got inside his house, he made me use hand sanitizer. Yeah.... I know. He gave me a tour of his house and as soon as he opened his bedroom door I saw it. 

He had a GIANT collection of dragons sitting on his dresser. Stuffed dragons, dragon statues, little dragon figurines. You name it he had it.

All I could say was, "Oh you weren't kidding about the dragons..." Luckily for me, my phone "rang" and it was my roommate needing me to pick her up downtown. 

Too bad I couldn't have that beer.

A few weeks pass. I meet Graham and become smitten with him. Dragon Boy texted me a few times wanting to hang out, but I was always busy. I decided to tell him about my new beau and when I did he sent some weird joke about locking me in his dungeon.

Moral of this story: don't meet people on public transportation. 



2 comments:

  1. This really cracked me up! It sounded like a complete disaster date. Thanks for a good laugh!

    ReplyDelete
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