Tuesday, June 18, 2013

My Heart Is Broken

What a weekend.

I went home to Houston to spend Father's Day with my stepdad. What was supposed to be a relaxing, fun weekend turned into a super emotional, stressful weekend.

Saturday morning I woke up bright and early to get get my oil changed and to get a car wash. When I went in to pay for my car wash, I saw a sign that said "FREE PUPPY! 6 months old, potty trained, and super sweet". Obviously I had to meet this puppy. I've been in the market for a dog for several months now. I am in love with my dogs at home and Graham's dog, Higgins, so I thought a new puppy would be great for me. The girl behind the desk at the carwash said they had recently found her wandering around in the area and wanted to give her a good home. After playing with her for a little bit, I went home to think about it.

My mom kept telling me this isn't really an appropriate time in my life to get a puppy since I live in an apartment and am about to start working full-time. It's just not fair to add an energetic puppy into my soon to be stressful life.

I wouldn't have any of it. I was so smitten with this dog that I didn't really care what my parents had to say. I texted my roommate (who is in Europe, so I couldn't really talk to her much) asking what she thought. She wasn't super keen on the idea, but was supportive with whatever decision I made. So I went to get the pup ASAP.

I picked her up and brought her home. She seemed so happy and go lucky. Even pooped in the yard twice. She was so fun and full of energy. I hoped I had made the right choice. That night, we went to dinner and left her inside with our other dogs. She was super well behaved the whole time we were gone. No accidents, no chewed up pillows, nothing. I took her upstairs to go to bed with me and she was awesome. No crying, no getting into stuff. She slept peacefully on the floor like a grown dog.

Sunday morning, I was playing with her more when I noticed her claws had recently been trimmed. Hmm.. weird. So she wasn't a stray. That morning, I also picked up on the fact that she knew several tricks and words. And she was potty trained. This dog belonged to someone's family. If I lost my dog, I would be devastated. I would be even more devastated if someone else took her home and made her their dog without even trying to find the original owners. So I put an ad on Craigslist in the Lost & Found section, posted on the Houston Lost Dogs Facebook page, and searched like 10 different neighborhoods within a 2 miles radius of the car wash, hoping her family had put up lost dog signs.

No luck.

I also realized on Sunday that I couldn't keep her. I should've listened to my mom. She's an energetic puppy that needs a yard to play on. My apartment complex barely has a grassy area. I'm about to start working and I would feel awful leaving her in a crate all day while I'm working. She needs attention and I couldn't give her all of mine. I made it my mission to find this girl's family.

I searched again on Monday. The girl at the car wash said she'd take her back if I couldn't keep her. I had to bring her back.

I cried my eyes out in front of the front desk crew and all the patrons at the car wash. I hated to give her up. I hate the fact that I promised her a new home and I took it back. I am a shitty person for not thinking it through. It breaks my heart to think I can't give her the home she deserves. I just hope her family starts searching and finds her. I want to be the best dog mommy in the world, but right now is not my time.

My heart is broken for this sweet puppy.

4 comments:

  1. When I was in college (living in a dorm and all) my friends and I got roped into adopting a puppy at one of those Petsmart puppy drives. She was a lab mix and was adorable. We paid an $80 adoption fee, spent close to $100 in food, toys, etc. and then brought this poor creature back to our dorm room. You heard me -- our dorm room.

    Needless to say, after 2 days, we had to take the puppy back. I'd never felt so guilty in my life. I was just soooo excited for the puppy breath and cuddling, that I forgot she needed to run and to play -- both of which are difficult when I was in class all and she, well, she had to be hidden from our RA.

    All of that is to say -- I've been there. It sucked. I hope your adorable little girl found a wonderful furever home!

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

    ReplyDelete
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